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Wednesday, July 18, 2018

The Book of Job

Until I get to heaven, I will never know why Davy was taken from us so soon, but I know it was his time, or the Lord would have reached down and spared him, just as I am sure He did many times in the past. That is why, through my pain and the intense guilt I feel at not being there for him in his last moments, I will still praise the Lord, and thank Him for the far-too-short time with my son.

The following is from the book of Job, when Satan was raining down calamity on Job, to tempt him to curse the Lord (which he never did) ...

              9"His wife said to him, “Are you still holding on to your integrity? Curse God, and die!"
              10He replied, "You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not the trouble?"
              Job 2:9-10

Me and my "babies" ... Ocracoke Island, 2009

PLEASE KEEP YOUR EYE OUT
FOR THE CAR THAT KILLED MY SON!
Even if you don't live in the Evansville area, please keep an eye out for this car. It was traveling South on I-69. It could have been coming from and going to anywhere. The Sheriff's office will follow up any ANY lead.

The Sheriff’s Office has identified the make and model of the suspect vehicle from the fatal hit and run crash that killed 23-year old David “Davy” Egan, father of two, on Friday, June 22, 2018 on I-69 near south Green River Road.

SUSPECT VEHICLE: Silver 1998-2002 Honda Accord sedan. 2-door or 4-door body style. The vehicle will have damage to the front end.

If you know of a vehicle matching this description, please contact the Sheriff's Office TIP line at 812-421-6297 or leave a web tip here.

Monday, July 16, 2018

The Shack

Have you seen the movie “The Shack”? If not, you should.

Every time I want to ask God “Why?”, I remember a scene from that movie, where Sam (the father who lost his young daughter to a serial killer and never recovered her body) is standing in a field with the Holy Spirit, who is tending a flower garden. He makes a comment something like, “It looks like a mess to me.” (And it does.)


The Holy Spirit laughs and replies, “I guess to you, it would.”


Then the camera pans up, and you see an intricate design made by the careful tending of the garden. From within the garden itself, you can’t see it, but it’s plainly visible from the heavens. That’s what I hold onto. I’m in the garden, and I can’t see past the chaos, but the Lord does, and I cling to that like a drowning person clings to a life preserver.

Me, feeding 10-month old baby Davy, April 16, 1995.

PLEASE KEEP YOUR EYE OUT
FOR THE CAR THAT KILLED MY SON!
Even if you don't live in the Evansville area, please keep an eye out for this car. It was traveling South on I-69. It could have been coming from and going to anywhere. The Sheriff's office will follow up any ANY lead.

The Sheriff’s Office has identified the make and model of the suspect vehicle from the fatal hit and run crash that killed 23-year old David “Davy” Egan, father of two, on Friday, June 22, 2018 on I-69 near south Green River Road.

SUSPECT VEHICLE: Silver 1998-2002 Honda Accord sedan. 2-door or 4-door body style. The vehicle will have damage to the front end.

If you know of a vehicle matching this description, please contact the Sheriff's Office TIP line at 812-421-6297 or leave a web tip here.

Sunday, July 15, 2018

Sleepover at Grandma's

Davy's babies spent the night with me Friday. They wanted to watch "Super Why!" beneath a pile of stuffed animals … so, of course, I obliged!


The next day, Thing 1 and her sweet baby came to play. I had filled up the pool the day before ... in full sun so that it would warm the water. I knew the spot would be in the shade in mid-morning when we took the babies out to play. Still, I put sunscreen on them … Super Why is super pale, Princess P has a little tan but she still needs sunscreen ... while Unicorn is sporting a effortless tan people drool over! However, it wasn't in the sun long enough because the water was frigid! The babies didn't seem to mind, but Thing1 and I were quite uncomfortable … and we were both ecstatic when they wanted to get out!

Super Why, Princess P, and the Unicorn … cousins and BFF's!
P.S. If you're wondering why we call him a Unicorn, it's because he got his Mama's red hair and his Daddy's beautiful caramel-colored skin. He's likely the only redhead in the world who doesn't burst into flames when he gets in the sun!!


PLEASE KEEP YOUR EYE OUT
FOR THE CAR THAT KILLED MY SON!
Even if you don't live in the Evansville area, please keep an eye out for this car. It was traveling South on I-69. It could have been coming from and going to anywhere. The Sheriff's office will follow up any ANY lead.

The Sheriff’s Office has identified the make and model of the suspect vehicle from the fatal hit and run crash that killed 23-year old David “Davy” Egan, father of two, on Friday, June 22, 2018 on I-69 near south Green River Road.

SUSPECT VEHICLE: Silver 1998-2002 Honda Accord sedan. 2-door or 4-door body style. The vehicle will have damage to the front end.

If you know of a vehicle matching this description, please contact the Sheriff's Office TIP line at 812-421-6297 or leave a web tip here.

Friday, July 13, 2018

Today is International Rock Day

Rocks the kids have given me over the years.
According to the site I was looking at, it's the kind of rock you kind in nature ... not the kind you pay a ridiculous amount of money to watch perform. I say this because the holiday calendar I look at specifically said in was rocks, but when I typed "International Rock Day" into a search engine, other sites were referencing Rock and Roll ... which this "holiday" is not!

When Davy was in pre-school, he would dig through the sand everyday to find me a rock. Some days he'd find several, some days he'd just find one. He'd put them in his cubby in his classroom to give to me when I picked him up. One day the teacher saw the rocks and took them, telling him he couldn't keep rocks in his cubby.

He was crushed. From then on, he'd either put the rocks in his shoe or in his underwear. One day when I picked him up, he burst into tears. I asked him what was wrong and he said, "I didn't find a rock for you today." I told gave him a big hug and calmed him down, telling him that was okay, that he didn't have to bring me a rock everyday. But with few exceptions, he did.

I treasured those rocks, saving them in a vase.

When my kids went to camp or went on an outing of some sort, I always gave them spending money. They asked what I wanted for a souvenir. I always told them a rock ... and not just any rock ... it had to be a wild rock, not a tame one from the driveway.

As a result, my kids were always bringing me rocks, and I've saved every single one. It was a long time before my kids discovered my stash of rocks. They were happy and surprised that I had kept them. It never occurred to me not to keep them! I loved that they thought of me and picked up a rock to make me smile ... because I always did.

Even as adults, they still bring me rocks. Not as often, but every once in a while they'll get a mischievous grin and say, "Close your eyes and hold out your hand. I've got something for you." I would do as I was told, and they would reward me with a rock.

When John went to Ireland in 2008, he asked what I wanted him to bring me back. I said, "A rock, and not just any rock ... it has to be a wild rock." He was videotaping one of his adventures in the countryside while he was there, and he reached down and picked up a rock off a trail he was walking. He showed it to the camera and said, "Here's your rock, Jackie, and it's a wild rock."

I think Davy brought me more rocks than the girls combined, probably because he was always outside running and playing and digging in the dirt.

Since Davy's death, we've all found rocks unexpectedly. I've found three very small rocks, much like the tiny rocks he'd find in the sand at pre-school. Thing 1 found a rock in an a place a rock should never have been ... but Thing 2's story is the sweetest. She was wondering why Davy had given me and Thing 1 a rock, but she hadn't gotten one yet, then a little girl at Vacation Bible School told her she had a surprise for her ... and handed her a rock. Of course, Thing 2 burst into tears and thanked that little girl profusely ... while secretly thanking Davy.

The girls and I like to think the rocks are Davy's way of telling us he's okay. We know it's silly, but it makes us happy, and it's not hurting anyone, so we're all going to continue believing the rocks were from Davy. If God can part the Red Sea, He can make sure my son leaves his sisters and I a rock for us in this time of the deepest grief we'll ever know.


PLEASE KEEP YOUR EYE OUT
FOR THE CAR THAT KILLED MY SON!

The Sheriff’s Office has identified the make and model of the suspect vehicle from the fatal hit and run crash that killed David “Davy” Egan, father of two, on Friday, June 22, 2018 on I-69 near S. Green River Road.

SUSPECT VEHICLE: Silver 1998-2002 Honda Accord sedan. 2-door or 4-door body style. The vehicle will have damage to the front end.

If you know of a vehicle matching this description, please contact the Sheriff's Office TIP line at 812-421-6297 or leave a web tip here.

Thursday, July 12, 2018

Max and Annie


When the kids were young, I went out of town to a Women's Conference with some of the ladies from my church. When we stopped at a Cracker Barrel, I looked around for gifts for my kiddo's. I saw some Beanie Baby stuffed animals and was looking at the cats. My kids loved cats. Unfortunately, they only had two different cats ... but I had three different kids.

I put the cats back and was looking around when I saw the cutest little puppy. I changed my mind … I got the girls the cats and I bought my son the puppy.

When I came home with cats for the girls and a puppy for Davy, he asked why he didn't get a cat, too … so I told him that I was going to get him a cat, but then this little puppy crawled to the end of the bin and asked me, "Do you have a little boy?"

I said I did.

The puppy asked, "Do you think your little boy would be a good Daddy?"

I told him I thought my little boy would be a wonderful Daddy.

The puppy asked, "Do you think he would want to be my Daddy?"

I told the puppy, "I think he would love to be your Daddy."

After that, Davy felt sorry for his sisters. They got stuck with those silly kitty cats … cute though they may be … but he got a puppy!

About a year later, the girls and I were out someplace and I saw a puppy that looked like Max, except she was all white. I told the girls, "Look! It's Annie! Max's wife!" My son was thrilled to get Annie, and Max was smitten as soon as he saw her. Davy played with those stuffed animals all the time. When he got too old for them, they were stuff someplace in his closet.


Davy loved those stuffed animals. When he moved out, he left many of his stuffed animals here for his babies … but he took Max and Annie with him.

After his death, his wife gave me Max. She said Annie had been mauled to death by the dogs. I was heartbroken, but at least I had Max. Then she called and said she had found Annie! I was so happy! Ever since Max and Annie were reunited, they haven't been able to take their eyes off of each other.

Before I got Annie back, I gave my little grandson Max to play with. He had a blast with him, and it warmed my heart.

When Davy's babies get a little older, I plan to give Max to his son and Annie to his daughter. Before I do that, I need to make sure they're old enough to know how special these two stuffed animals were to their father so they are treated with the reverence they deserve and not just thrown into the toy box and forgotten.

I am so glad Davy loved those stuffed animals enough to hang onto them all these years … and one day, his babies will be glad, soo.

Wednesday, July 11, 2018

Sweet Babies

I bought five small urns for Davy's ashes, one for me, my daughters, and his babies. I asked the funeral home to cut five small locks of Davy's hair, which I put in my urn with his ashes. The urns came in a velvet box, and the urns themselves easily fit in your hand. I have a larger container of his ashes to sprinkle or keep. Those are the ones I used when I planted his tree.


I gave the ones for the babies to their mother. The babies must have seen them and asked what they were. She didn't know what to tell them, and they wanted to hold them. She was worried they'd think it was a toy and throw it or something, but she let them hold it. They were very gentle with them, and even kissed them. Just when I thought those babies couldn't get any sweeter or any cuter … they do.



Tuesday, July 10, 2018

Rainbow


There was a double rainbow over the city late yesterday afternoon. I didn't see it, but a friend on Facebook took this shot. Isn't it incredible?

Nothing, however, beats the reaction from this guy when he sees a double rainbow ...



And, PLEASE ... I beg of you to keep an eye out for the car that killed my son ...
Vehicle Model from Fatal I-69 Hit and Run Identified


The Sheriff’s Office has identified the make and model of the suspect vehicle from the fatal hit and run crash that occurred on Friday, June 22, 2018 on I-69 near S. Green River Road.

SUSPECT VEHICLE: Silver 1998-2002 Honda Accord sedan. 2-door or 4-door body style. The vehicle will have damage to the front end.

If you know of a vehicle matching this description, please contact the Sheriff's Office TIP line at 812-421-6297 or leave a web tip here.



Monday, July 9, 2018

Friday, July 6, 2018

We Planted Davy's Dogwood Yesterday Evening

One of my sisters brought this over last night. It's perfect.
I know Davy is just one person, but his absence is palpable.
I laid it on the ground in front of his tree.

The tree planted and the stone in place.

Below is the video of us planting Davy's dogwood. The conversation is a little disjointed at times, because my daughter stopped and started the video at different points ...


Mixing the compost with the soil.
Sprinkling Davy's ashes into the hole so he'll become part of the tree.
Setting the tree in place.
Backfilling the hole with the soil/compost mixture.
Davy's babies went with me to to on the hose.
They've never seen this part of the yard.
They thought it was a magical place ...
especially after we saw a frog!!

Davy first met this guy (Ben) when they were four and five years old.
Davy, Ben, and Ben's brother Noah were joined at the hip their entire childhoods.
They played from the moment they woke up until they were called home for the night.
Adding mulch.

Watering the tree.
The babies, the Mommy, and myself, off to start the grill to feed this group.