I just read an article about a woman, a mother, who does not celebrate Mother's Day. Why? Because her mother died before she married and had kids. I thought it was one of the saddest ... and the most selfish ... thing I've ever read. My mom died in October of 1996. This Mother's Day was the 21st one I've celebrated without her. I miss her and wish desperately she had lived to see all fifteen of her grandchildren grow up, but God had other plans. Still, I would never deprive my children of celebrating the day for me because it means so much to them. They want to make the day special.
My mother would be horrified if I let her death taint a holiday that celebrates all that mother's do. It would upset her if I couldn't enjoy the day because she was gone. I feel sorry for that woman, and even sorrier for her kids, and I can't help but wonder what other joys of life she and her children are missing because she lost her mother. Those poor kids will grow up remembering Mother's Day as the day their mother was always sad and depressed, despite whatever effort they may have went to to show her how much she means to them.
When you're a mom, you can be as sad as you want, but you can't drag your children into your pain. It's okay for kids to see their mom cry on occasion, but a crying mother scares a child. A depressed mother scares a child. To a kid, mom is the barometer for life. If mom can't hold it together, things must be really bad.
What a shame that this mother is forcing her children to help her carry her emotional baggage, because once she's gone, they're still going to be lugging it around ... but hopefully they won't pass it on to their own children.