Banished

Thing 2 loves to sleep with Olivia, and Thing 2's bed is Olivia's favorite place to sleep, especially in the winter when the electric blanket is on. Win/win, right? No ... because Olivia is a cat, and when she wants out of the room, she wants out of the room now ... and if you don't comply immediately, she starts knocking things off the dressers and beside tables ... until the door is opened and she can leave.

It's not an uncommon to hear Thing 2 yelling at Olivia in the middle of the night, then opening her door and tossing the cat into the hall. Olivia, satisfied that she got her way, sets off to do whatever it is cats "need" to do in the middle of the night.

When she's done, she usually walks around the upstairs hall, singing the song of her people, begging one of us to let her in. It never works ... even when she went through her "I'm-going-to-cry-until-you-let-me-in-even-if-it-takes-all-night" phase. So she lays across the hall from Thing 2's door, positioning herself so that neither of us can miss her when we open our doors in the morning ... trying to look as pathetic as she can to make us feel sorry for banishing her and making her sleep on the floor ... like an animal. I suspect she's slept most of the night in her comfy, memory-foam mattress kitty-cat bed until she hears one of our alarms ... which is her signal to man her post in the hall and look miserable and neglected.

Thing 2 is working full time and going to school full time, When she's not at school or work, she's either at church, with her boyfriend, at her sister's house, or off with friends. She's at the age where a normal night is a late night, even when she has to be up at the crack of dawn for work or school. She's never sorry she threw Olivia out in the middle of the night ... and Olivia is never allowed in my room ... so her morning "patheticness" doesn't phase us in the least.

Thing 2 wised up, and usually banishes her before she goes to sleep. Knowing this, Olivia will race Thing 2 to the bedroom whens she comes home each night, practically knocking Thing 2 down on the stairs. When Thing 2 gets to her room, Olivia is hiding or on to the bed, pretending to be sound asleep. Sometimes Thing 2 takes pity of her and let's her stay, but most nights she's tossed into the hall ... where she has to sleep on the floor ... like an animal.

Rex Must Be Ashamed of His Destroyed Legacy

There's a slight physical resemblance, but that's about it. A chicken being the direct descendant of the feared Tyrannosaurus Rex is akin to a mob boss's son becoming a preacher! Neither of them have arms long enough to make a bed ... the chicken and the Tyrannosaurus Rex, that is, not the mob boss or the preacher ... but at least the chicken has evolved enough to be able to get food from a corner! Shrinking the giant head, Ms. Chicken, was a good call!

Raindrops on the window, there's a storm movin' in ...

Yikes! If a Few Chromosomes Hadn't Lined Up ...

I'd be a banana!

I'm in Love

Meet Gus ... Thing 1's new baby. I love the polka dots on his fat belly! Could he be any cuter?!!

Happy National Paper Airplane Day!

School supplies are always cheapest in late summer when stores buy them by the truckload, so every summer I would stock up on the things I knew the kids were going to use up or lose ... particularly loose-leaf paper and notebooks. When my son entered his "paper airplane phase", there was an endless supply of material from which to create his fleet.

And create he did.

There were paper airplanes everywhere. They were under, on top of, and behind every piece of furniture. They were stuck in light fixtures and ceiling fans. They were on top of the hutch, refrigerator, and cabinets. For months, before I could vacuum or dust, I had to pick up handful after handful of paper airplanes ... and I got really sick of it.

I don't have anything against paper airplanes, and I didn't care if he made them ... as long as he picked them up! But he never did. Finally, in exasperation, I told him if he didn't pick up his airplanes after he was done playing with them, he wouldn't be allowed to make them anymore. He called my bluff ... hence ... paper airplanes were forever banned and he was grounded every time he made them. He's still complaining about it!

I'm really hoping my son doesn't read my blog today, because he'll feel obligated to make "one" more paper airplane to sail in celebration. And before you know it, paper airplanes will once again overrun my house ... and I'll have to ground him ... again.

If that happens, he'll have a story to tell his future kids when they complain about how mean he is!

For those of you not (yet) banned from making them, here's how to make a really cool paper airplane ...

Memorial Day Tribute

Photo courtesy of gospelgifs.com

For many, Memorial Day is little more than a day off work or an excuse to get together with friends and family and have fun. However you choose to spend the day, take a few moments to remember the men and women who gave their lives fighting to protect everything this country stands for. As the saying goes ... Freedom isn't free ... and the freedoms we enjoy were bought with the blood of the soldiers who lost their lives defending this great country.

I only personally know one man who was killed in battle, but that doesn't mean I don't appreciate the sacrifice and grieve for all of our fallen heroes. Every soldier who lost their life in battle left behind parents, siblings, spouses, children, friends, and relatives ... people whose lives were forever changed by their death.

My heart goes out to the family and friends still grieving the loss of their loved ones. I'd like them to know how much I appreciate their sacrifice. I sleep better knowing brave American soldiers put their lives on the line every single day to protect our country. Their dedication and courage enable us to enjoy the living in the greatest country in history.

I went to a family barbecue yesterday, a tradition started long ago by my sweetie's father and carried on by his sons after his passing. A huge American flag was strung between two trees. The tablecloths were white stars on navy or stripes of red gingham. There are always lots of kids ... more every year ... many too young to understand the significance of why we gather there each Memorial Day. But one day they'll know ... and one day they'll bring their own babies to the barbecue to celebrate the lives of the American soldiers who died protecting all of us.

$200,000 of Haute Couture Fashion Stolen

It seems a certain "A-list" movie star has had $200,000 worth of clothing stolen from a storage unit (a climate controlled unit, I'm sure) in North Hollywood.

Celebrities, as we all know, are rarely seen photographed in the same clothing twice, so I imagine someone with a career that spans over three decades has amassed quite a collection. I have a hard time believing all of the items this movie star kept held memories so precious she couldn't part with them.

I saved a few key pieces of clothing from when my kids were growing up ... like the sleepers they came home from the hospital in, and a handful of outfits that I thought they looked particularly adorable in. I kept only a few items that held special memories ... but I didn't keep everything. I wanted to keep everything, but I believe that's called hoarding!

While it's a shame that this happened, and whoever stole the items deserves to be punished, it's hard to feel too sorry for someone who has so many clothes that they don't have room to house them between their many multi-million dollar mansions and penthouses and have to rent a storage facility to hold the overflow.

81 Years Ago Today, Bonnie and Clyde Were Gunned Down

Photo courtesy of the
Library of Congress

Isn't it strange that two high school dropouts would be remembered 81 years after their deaths ... but who hasn't heard of Bonnie and Clyde? Hollywood, intentionally or not, romanticized their lives in a 1967 film, simply titled "Bonnie and Clyde".

In reality, there is nothing romantic about a couple who spent two years driving around stealing cars, robbing banks and other businesses, and murdering anyone who stood in their way. They were heartless thieves and merciless killers.

On May 23, 1934, they were cut down in a hail of bullets. A fitting end for two selfish people who so callously gunned down thirteen people, including nine police officers, wounded many more, and ruined the lives of countless others.

Cleverer?

For what it's worth, George, everyone already knew that Amal is "cleverer" than you. I've heard a lot of adjectives used to describe you, but "intelligent" or "clever" was never among them.

I must confess, however, that I did not read the article. The headline told me more than I cared to know. I'm not a George Clooney fan, so I really don't care about his wife's huge appetitie for designer clothes or why he loves the pub near his new English manor. I guess it makes me an anomaly, but I'm one of the few women on earth who has never thought of him as all that handsome or talented. Or cleverer.