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Saturday, November 24, 2018

This is my Mantra

I wrote these words on the chalkboard in the hall outside the kitchen in the summer of 2017. I used to write/draw all kinds of things, changing it often, but I've left this up since I wrote it. When I'm feeling overwhelmed, I repeat those words. Eventually, I do begin to sense peace. My inner torment and grief never completely goes away, but repeating these words does ease the pain ... at least a little.


These words are also on the calendar on my phone ... a repeating occurrence with no end date. When I put it on my calendar, I started the phrase with a period (.), so that it would always be the first thing I saw ... and I used a colored font to make it stand out even more. I don't just read them everyday, I say them everyday. Now more than ever, I need to know God is in charge. I need to know He took Davy for a reason. I'd give anything to know what that reason was, but I do know it wasn't to punish me. That's not how God works. The girls and I, my entire family ... and everyone who knows us ... are all wondering why it was Davy's time to go. He had two very young children. He was so young. His life was just starting. After his turbulent teens, he was emerging from the fog of youth and he was just beginning to find his foothold. I don't know why Davy's gone, but I rest in the assurance that I will see him in heaven ... and then I'll know why he was taken so soon.

I also put the words "Thy will be done" on a piece of driftwood I found in the fall of 2017 on the beach in Destin, Florida after Hurricane Nate. We got to Destin in the late afternoon, and Nate struck as a Category 1 that night. I was going to stay up and experience a hurricane "in person", but after discovering a Category 1 hurricane isn't that impressive, I went to bed and slept through the rest of it. I found this piece of wood a day or two later walking on the beach.

When I go to the ocean, that's all I do ... I walk. I walk on the beach all morning until I get hungry. After lunch, I walk on the beach until it's time to get ready for dinner. I don't lay on the beach and tan, and I the closest I get to getting in the ocean is letting the surf wash over my feet as I stare out at the vastness of the water. There is something cathartic about the whole experience ... the sound of the birds and the waves as they break and wash ashore ... the smell of the salt water ... the constant breeze ... and the sun kissing my skin. It's so soothing and peaceful. It's so calming and restorative. Maybe next summer we can take a family vacation to the beach. After this year, the girls and I need a week of tranquility that only the sights and sounds and smell of the ocean can bring.

I wasn't sure what I was going to put on that piece of wood when I found it, but I knew by it's size and shape that it was begging to display the perfect quote ... and now it is ...



We are offering a $1,000 REWARD for information leading to the arrest of the person responsible for the death of my son in a fatal hit and run on I-69 South on the Green River overpass in Evansville, Indiana around 11:00pm on Friday, June 22, 2018.The car that hit him was determined to be a 1998-2002 Silver Honda Accord. There would have been considerable damage to the front, passenger side of the vehicle, but it could be repaired by now. (See the Sheriff Bulletin below).

If you have any information, please contact the Sheriff's Office TIP line at 812-421-6297 or leave a web tip here.

 
PLEASE KEEP YOUR EYE OUT
FOR THE CAR THAT KILLED MY SON!

Even if you don't live in the Evansville area, please keep an eye out for this car. It was traveling South on I-69. It could have been coming from and going to anywhere. The Sheriff's office will follow up any ANY lead.

The Sheriff’s Office has identified the make and model of the suspect vehicle from the fatal hit and run crash that killed 23-year old David “Davy” Egan, father of two, on Friday, June 22, 2018 on I-69 near south Green River Road.
SUSPECT VEHICLE: Silver 1998-2002 Honda Accord sedan. 2-door or 4-door body style. The vehicle will have damage to the front end.

If you know of a vehicle matching this description, please contact the Sheriff's Office TIP line at 812-421-6297 or leave a web tip here.

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