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Friday, April 26, 2013

Heartbreak and Triumph

Sometimes I am amazed at what makes the headlines, and the pat on the back celebrities are given for doing even the most mundane of tasks. One celebrity mother was called "Super Mom" for walking her oldest child to some kind of lesson, all while ... get this … pregnant!! Wow! I'm not sure, but I'm guessing she was even chewing gum! Wouldn't it be incredible if she were?! I know … I, too, am amazed at the feat she was able to accomplish. Sacajawea ain't got nothin' on that woman!!

One of the top headlines on another website was that so-and-so and her child were in Paris … having lunch! I don't know about you, but it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside to know that so-and-so eats food … just like me! I suppose that makes us, in effect, kindred spirits! That juicy tidbit was also shared with its equally amazing co-headline … another celebrity went to an awards dinner … commando! I can see why thatmade the headlines. Can you imagine going through life and never knowing so-and-so didn't wear underwear to dinner on April 24, 2013? Scary, isn't it?

(P.S. It wasn't officially reported, but she was wearing a bra, either!)

At this point, I feel it necessary to defend this poor, helpless celebrity … she didn't realize the dress that the dress her stylist selected, purchased, and altered to fit her precise frame was sheer from hem to neck ... on both sides ... until she put it on right before the ceremony.

To avoid this little "oopsie" in the future, perhaps she should have her stylist send the dress over a few days before the event, then she would know beforehand what undergarments would … or would not … be required. In the event her stylist is too busy deciding what other celebrities will be wearing, the celebrity could always send one of her servants to fetch the garment … and, of course, send a bill to the stylist for the inconvenience having to send her own servant. That sounds fair, doesn't it? I mean, these celebrities hire people for specific tasks … cooking, cleaning, landscaping, grocery shopping, etc. If you're paying someone to do your shopping, and they have to run an errand for your stylist, the stylist should pay for that … wouldn't you agree?

I used to have servants. To those on the outside looking in, they called them "children", but I preferred to think of them as my "staff". Unfortunately, they weren't good at much besides swinging and making plastic food in their Little Tikes kitchen, but when I wanted one of them to bring me a cold soda … they foughtover who would get to serve me. I know they would sneak a drink of the soda before it got to me, but I'm quite certain the thrill of serving me was the motivator … not a sip of the forbidden soda.

Unfortunately, the "servants" you give birth to become less and less helpful as they become more and more capable. When they wanted to help me, they were of no use at all … they created more messes than they ever cleaned … and they created a bigger mess while "helping" clean a smaller one! Now that they are old enough to be a real asset to my team, their desire to help is long, long, looooooong gone!

It's nice, though, that I get to live vicariously through these wealthy celebrities. I can rejoice with them when marry the perfect mate … and I can cry with them when they divorce a few years later and walk away with a paltry 30 million dollars. (Sometimes, I don't know what a judge is thinking … how are they supposed to fly to Paris for lunch whenever they want cheese and croissants if they only have 30 million dollars in the bank?)

I can empathize with their embarrassment when they flash their panty-less crotch getting out of a chauffeured limousine. (I don't know about you, but I hate it when that happens to me!).

I can share their indignation when the sordid details of their life are picked over and speculated about. (Just because they tweet every detail of their life doesn't give anyone the right to intrude upon their privacy!!)

I, too, can share the disgust of these young women when they are leered at by "old men". (These young women parade around in little more than lingerie or pose for a photo shoot naked … save for a few props to cover their modesty … because it was their job, not to give men something to drool over.) Just because a celebrity walks around in stripper heels and shorts that barely cover their underwear (if they bother wearing any), doesn't give anyone the right to stare at them lustfully!!

I think the most heart-wrenching thing I ever read was when one celebrity, after the birth of her first child, was forced to do something she had sworn she would never do … she had to hire a nanny. To make matters worse, when she and her husband flew (I can't remember if they flew first class or chartered a private jet) from their spacious New York penthouse to their sprawling mansion in California … they had to bring the nanny with them.  (All these years later, it still hurts when I think about it.) I can only imagine the pain that poor woman felt when she got to sleep all night or take a shower without worrying the baby was crying.

The hardships celebrities endure just breaks my heart, but when I see the courage and strength they show by getting up early enough to have their make-up team get them ready to take their children out for ice cream (all by themselves … except for the security team following them), my faith in humanity is restored.

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