Vegetable Soup

One of my sisters gave me her recipe for vegetable soup and I made a big batch. I've eaten a couple of bowls and it's really good. Having cooked for three ravenous beasts for so many years, I am incapable of cooking for one ... or two ... or even three or four! I can't eat even a fraction of what I cook, so I give a lot of it to my girls, take it to work to share with Thing 2 for lunch, and sadly, more than I care to admit gets thrown away.

Turns out, I miss having three ravenous beasts to cook for.

We are offering a $1,000 REWARD for information leading to the arrest of the person responsible for the death of my son in a fatal hit and run on I-69 South on the Green River overpass in Evansville, Indiana around 11:00pm on Friday, June 22, 2018.The car that hit him was determined to be a 1998-2002 Silver Honda Accord. There would have been considerable damage to the front, passenger side of the vehicle, but it could be repaired by now. (See the Sheriff Bulletin below).

If you have any information, please contact the Sheriff's Office TIP line at 812-421-6297 or leave a web tip here.

 
PLEASE KEEP YOUR EYE OUT

FOR THE CAR THAT KILLED MY SON!

Even if you don't live in the Evansville area, please keep an eye out for this car. It was traveling South on I-69. It could have been coming from and going to anywhere. The Sheriff's office will follow up any ANY lead.

The Sheriff’s Office has identified the make and model of the suspect vehicle from the fatal hit and run crash that killed 23-year old David “Davy” Egan, father of two, on Friday, June 22, 2018 on I-69 near south Green River Road.

SUSPECT VEHICLE: Silver 1998-2002 Honda Accord sedan. 2-door or 4-door body style. The vehicle will have damage to the front end.

If you know of a vehicle matching this description, please contact the Sheriff's Office TIP line at 812-421-6297 or leave a web tip here.

Oh, My Heart!

My grandson wasn't so thrilled when his mom brought home a new baby when he was a mere 10 months old, but they are inseparable now. They love each other so much :)   

I'd love to spend time with separately now and again, but they're too young right now. They'd spend the entire time asking where the other one was ... and I'm positive they'd end up missing them so bad they'd be crying at some point.

Later, when they're older, they'll appreciate some time alone with Grandma. Until then, I'll continue to take joy in watching them play together.

PLEASE KEEP YOUR EYE OUT

FOR THE CAR THAT KILLED MY SON!

Even if you don't live in the Evansville area, please keep an eye out for this car. It was traveling South on I-69. It could have been coming from and going to anywhere. The Sheriff's office will follow up any ANY lead.

The Sheriff’s Office has identified the make and model of the suspect vehicle from the fatal hit and run crash that killed 23-year old David “Davy” Egan, father of two, on Friday, June 22, 2018 on I-69 near south Green River Road.

SUSPECT VEHICLE: Silver 1998-2002 Honda Accord sedan. 2-door or 4-door body style. The vehicle will have damage to the front end.

If you know of a vehicle matching this description, please contact the Sheriff's Office TIP line at 812-421-6297 or leave a web tip here.

Cold or Creepy?

Thing 2 and I went to her house for lunch one day. When we pulled up, her s nowman was turned around. She turned it back around when we came inside. I looked over a few minutes later, and he was staring at us again!
I'm not sure if he was just cold and was trying to make us feel sorry for him and bring him inside, or if he's just creepy. Either way ... he's staying outside!

We are offering a $1,000 REWARD for information leading to the arrest of the person responsible for the death of my son in a fatal hit and run on I-69 South on the Green River overpass in Evansville, Indiana around 11:00pm on Friday, June 22, 2018.The car that hit him was determined to be a 1998-2002 Silver Honda Accord. There would have been considerable damage to the front, passenger side of the vehicle, but it could be repaired by now. (See the Sheriff Bulletin below).

If you have any information, please contact the Sheriff's Office TIP line at 812-421-6297 or leave a web tip here.

 
PLEASE KEEP YOUR EYE OUT

FOR THE CAR THAT KILLED MY SON!

Even if you don't live in the Evansville area, please keep an eye out for this car. It was traveling South on I-69. It could have been coming from and going to anywhere. The Sheriff's office will follow up any ANY lead.

The Sheriff’s Office has identified the make and model of the suspect vehicle from the fatal hit and run crash that killed 23-year old David “Davy” Egan, father of two, on Friday, June 22, 2018 on I-69 near south Green River Road.

SUSPECT VEHICLE: Silver 1998-2002 Honda Accord sedan. 2-door or 4-door body style. The vehicle will have damage to the front end.

If you know of a vehicle matching this description, please contact the Sheriff's Office TIP line at 812-421-6297 or leave a web tip here.

I Put Up My Tree Saturday

I had to change the location from where I normally put it. The good news is that I had the room to do that ... the bad news is that now my Great-Aunt Addie's cedar chest is no longer centered under the wall decor. And it's driving me nuts! But, with no other option, I'm forced to leave it there.

After church on Sunday, I spent time outside blowing leaves and doing some other chores that need done before the cold weather sets in. Sunday was the last of the pretty days for a while and I didn't want to miss the opportunity to check those things off my list. It severely cut into the time I had left to decorate, but it was nice being outside. It was really windy, so Davy's windchime was tinkling away. It's a soothing sound.

Last night my intention was to finish and have this task over and done with, but I needed a few things to continue. That trip to Target took a lot longer than I anticipated, so I didn't get as much done as I had hoped. It didn't take so at Target long because the store was so crowded (it wasn't), but because I have a tendency to wander when I get into that store. I had a small list, but I kept remembering other things I needed while I was there, so I spent more than I had intended, but I didn't buy anything I didn't "need".

Normally I can get the house decorated in one day, but my heart isn't into it this year. I think it's going to take me a whole lot longer this time around. I do have everything up from the basement, but I'm not rushing. I'm not going slow to savor the decorating process ... I'm just overwhelmed at facing the prospect of the first Christmas without my son.

Given the choice, my girls and I would skip Christmas altogether this year, but we can't. I have three grandbabies. They expect a festive and happy Christmas, and that is what they will get. We will pretend to be happy for them. My mom was so sad ... for years ... after my brother died. I remember thinking it must be so hard to lose a child. I was grateful I'd never have to know what that actually felt like. Fast forward 43 years and I found out I'm not so lucky afterall.

I normally put on Christmas music when I decorate the house, but this year I did not want to hear Christmas songs. Instead, I put on a video of a fire. Aside from the calming crackling of my pretend fire, my house was silent. Gone are the days of having three little ones constantly underfoot, wanting to "help". And now, gone are the days of having my three kids in the same room ever again.

The girls and I always had lunch together when we all worked downtown. Not too long after Davy died, the girls and I were sitting at a table having lunch, and I looked around and thought, "This is all that's left of my family now". It's only one less person, but he was a part of us ... an irritating younger brother and oftentimes annoying son ... but that one less person leaves a hole much bigger than the space one human takes up. A profound sadness swept over me I teared up, but was able to keep from crying. That still happens more times than I care to admit.

Davy was just days away from his 24th birthday ... so memories are everywhere. And not just in my home, but all over town. There's no way of escaping the onslaught of memories that pour out of buildings and parks and sidewalks as I drive to and from work, or when I'm out running errands. Davy is in the music on my phone and car radio. I don't want to forget him, but I do wish I could forget that he's gone, if only for a moment.

This isn't the first hardship I've had in my life, but it's definitely the hardest. All the other "hardships" were temporary ... this is permanent. But God hasn't chosen to take me yet, and so I have to keep on living. These days, I don't concentrate on everything I need to do ... I just try to do what is expected of me in that moment. I buy groceries. I fix meals. I work in my yard and clean my house. I put gas in my car and make sure the oil is changed. I go to work and fix computer problems. I spend time with my daughters and grandbabies, family and friends.

I pretend that I'm okay, even though I'm not. I pretend to be having a good time at gatherings, birthdays, and holidays, even though they no longer bring even a modicum of the joy they one did. I just do what I'm expected to do ... like I celebrating at special events, even though I'd rather just curl up in a ball and go to sleep.

We are offering a $1,000 REWARD for information leading to the arrest of the person responsible for the death of my son in a fatal hit and run on I-69 South on the Green River overpass in Evansville, Indiana around 11:00pm on Friday, June 22, 2018.The car that hit him was determined to be a 1998-2002 Silver Honda Accord. There would have been considerable damage to the front, passenger side of the vehicle, but it could be repaired by now. (See the Sheriff Bulletin below).

If you have any information, please contact the Sheriff's Office TIP line at 812-421-6297 or leave a web tip here.

 
PLEASE KEEP YOUR EYE OUT

FOR THE CAR THAT KILLED MY SON!

Even if you don't live in the Evansville area, please keep an eye out for this car. It was traveling South on I-69. It could have been coming from and going to anywhere. The Sheriff's office will follow up any ANY lead.

The Sheriff’s Office has identified the make and model of the suspect vehicle from the fatal hit and run crash that killed 23-year old David “Davy” Egan, father of two, on Friday, June 22, 2018 on I-69 near south Green River Road.

SUSPECT VEHICLE: Silver 1998-2002 Honda Accord sedan. 2-door or 4-door body style. The vehicle will have damage to the front end.

If you know of a vehicle matching this description, please contact the Sheriff's Office TIP line at 812-421-6297 or leave a web tip here.

If Thing 2 Were a Christmas Tree

We are offering a $1,000 REWARD for information leading to the arrest of the person responsible for the death of my son in a fatal hit and run on I-69 South on the Green River overpass in Evansville, Indiana around 11:00pm on Friday, June 22, 2018.The car that hit him was determined to be a 1998-2002 Silver Honda Accord. There would have been considerable damage to the front, passenger side of the vehicle, but it could be repaired by now. (See the Sheriff Bulletin below).

If you have any information, please contact the Sheriff's Office TIP line at 812-421-6297 or leave a web tip here.

 
PLEASE KEEP YOUR EYE OUT

FOR THE CAR THAT KILLED MY SON!

Even if you don't live in the Evansville area, please keep an eye out for this car. It was traveling South on I-69. It could have been coming from and going to anywhere. The Sheriff's office will follow up any ANY lead.

The Sheriff’s Office has identified the make and model of the suspect vehicle from the fatal hit and run crash that killed 23-year old David “Davy” Egan, father of two, on Friday, June 22, 2018 on I-69 near south Green River Road.

SUSPECT VEHICLE: Silver 1998-2002 Honda Accord sedan. 2-door or 4-door body style. The vehicle will have damage to the front end.

If you know of a vehicle matching this description, please contact the Sheriff's Office TIP line at 812-421-6297 or leave a web tip here.

This is my Mantra

I wrote these words on the chalkboard in the hall outside the kitchen in the summer of 2017. I used to write/draw all kinds of things, changing it often, but I've left this up since I wrote it. When I'm feeling overwhelmed, I repeat those words. Eventually, I do begin to sense peace. My inner torment and grief never completely goes away, but repeating these words does ease the pain ... at least a little.

These words are also on the calendar on my phone ... a repeating occurrence with no end date. When I put it on my calendar, I started the phrase with a period (.), so that it would always be the first thing I saw ... and I used a colored font to make it stand out even more. I don't just read them everyday, I say them everyday. Now more than ever, I need to know God is in charge. I need to know He took Davy for a reason. I'd give anything to know what that reason was, but I do know it wasn't to punish me. That's not how God works. The girls and I, my entire family ... and everyone who knows us ... are all wondering why it was Davy's time to go. He had two very young children. He was so young. His life was just starting. After his turbulent teens, he was emerging from the fog of youth and he was just beginning to find his foothold. I don't know why Davy's gone, but I rest in the assurance that I will see him in heaven ... and then I'll know why he was taken so soon.

I also put the words "Thy will be done" on a piece of driftwood I found in the fall of 2017 on the beach in Destin, Florida after Hurricane Nate. We got to Destin in the late afternoon, and Nate struck as a Category 1 that night. I was going to stay up and experience a hurricane "in person", but after discovering a Category 1 hurricane isn't that impressive, I went to bed and slept through the rest of it. I found this piece of wood a day or two later walking on the beach.

When I go to the ocean, that's all I do ... I walk. I walk on the beach all morning until I get hungry. After lunch, I walk on the beach until it's time to get ready for dinner. I don't lay on the beach and tan, and I the closest I get to getting in the ocean is letting the surf wash over my feet as I stare out at the vastness of the water. There is something cathartic about the whole experience ... the sound of the birds and the waves as they break and wash ashore ... the smell of the salt water ... the constant breeze ... and the sun kissing my skin. It's so soothing and peaceful. It's so calming and restorative. Maybe next summer we can take a family vacation to the beach. After this year, the girls and I need a week of tranquility that only the sights and sounds and smell of the ocean can bring.

I wasn't sure what I was going to put on that piece of wood when I found it, but I knew by it's size and shape that it was begging to display the perfect quote ... and now it is ...

We are offering a $1,000 REWARD for information leading to the arrest of the person responsible for the death of my son in a fatal hit and run on I-69 South on the Green River overpass in Evansville, Indiana around 11:00pm on Friday, June 22, 2018.The car that hit him was determined to be a 1998-2002 Silver Honda Accord. There would have been considerable damage to the front, passenger side of the vehicle, but it could be repaired by now. (See the Sheriff Bulletin below).

If you have any information, please contact the Sheriff's Office TIP line at 812-421-6297 or leave a web tip here.

 
PLEASE KEEP YOUR EYE OUT

FOR THE CAR THAT KILLED MY SON!

Even if you don't live in the Evansville area, please keep an eye out for this car. It was traveling South on I-69. It could have been coming from and going to anywhere. The Sheriff's office will follow up any ANY lead.

The Sheriff’s Office has identified the make and model of the suspect vehicle from the fatal hit and run crash that killed 23-year old David “Davy” Egan, father of two, on Friday, June 22, 2018 on I-69 near south Green River Road.

SUSPECT VEHICLE: Silver 1998-2002 Honda Accord sedan. 2-door or 4-door body style. The vehicle will have damage to the front end.

If you know of a vehicle matching this description, please contact the Sheriff's Office TIP line at 812-421-6297 or leave a web tip here.

Thanksgiving Wasn't Too Bad

None of us knew what Thanksgiving would be like on our first major holiday without Davy. It wasn't as bad as I feared it would be, but it was hardly our usual joyous celebration. I received emails and texts from several people, and a card from my old neighbor. Without knowing what the other was up to, we both decided to sell our houses at the same time, and we both moved the same weekend. Her two boys live down south, so she moved to Georgia to be close to them.

As neighbors go, we were pretty close. She was always so kind to the kids and I. She lost her husband of 36 years in 2008 and was devastated. They had started dating when she was seventeen, and he's the only man she's ever loved or kissed. Davy would go over to her house everyday after school and throughout the summer and fall. She would probably rather have been left alone, but she welcomed him in. Davy felt a duty to her. He loved her and she was grieving and hurting so deeply ... and his daily visits were his way of telling her she was still loved and that she wasn't alone. Davy, for all of his faults, had a very tender heart and was very empathetic towards the pain of others.

I'm grateful for the army of people praying for us. The fact that we are able to function at all is the result of the faithful lifting up our names to the Lord, asking him to give us strength and help us heal. It didn't help matters any that Thanksgiving was five months to the day that Davy was killed.

So back to the race ... there was a group of us walking or running, and spouses to cheer us at the finish line. The runners were grateful for the cold, and the news people were reporting that with the temps in the 30-40° range, it would be a perfect day to run/walk a race ... but I'm much more suited to temperatures 60° or higher. I was uncomfortably cold.

We started out the day running or walking in the Turkey Day 5k wearing the shirts Thing 2 and I had made the three of us in memory of Davy. The only picture I have of the girls and I isn't very good. Oh, the girls look perfectly adorable, as usual, but I, as usual, do not ... I look like one of the Beatles cut my hair! I had pulled it up so that it didn't hang over the back of the shirt. I should have left it down. I was so cold I ended up wearing a jacket, with shirt was barely visible. Pulling the hood up and tying it wasn't attractive at the time, or later, when I took the hood off. Even if I were tall and had legs for days, I'd starve to death as a model. I am not photogenic!

Front of shirt ...

 

Back of shirt ...

After the race, we socialized a little bit, then everyone headed home. Later we all gathered at Cracker Barrel for our Thanksgiving dinner. It was the usual line-up of suspects ... myself, my kids and their spouses/kids, my sister, and her husband and son. Davy wasn't there, of course, so it didn't really feel like Thanksgiving. But, that's okay. It's hard to celebrate anything when you're missing someone so bad you can barely breathe.

I don't know how we'll all deal with Christmas. In all honesty, none of us are looking forward to Christmas. Quite the contrary ... we're all dreading it. Still, I'm sure prayers and kindness from others will help us get through the holiday season ... even if all we really want to do is go to bed and wake up in January.

The family of Davy Egan is offering a $1,000 REWARD for information leading to the arrest of the person responsible for his death in a fatal hit and run on I-69 South on the Green River overpass in Evansville, Indiana around 11:00pm on Friday, June 22, 2018.The car that hit him was determined to be a 1998-2002 Silver Honda Accord. There would have been considerable damage to the front, passenger side of the vehicle, but it could be repaired by now. (See the Sheriff Bulletin below).

If you have any information, please contact the Sheriff's Office TIP line at 812-421-6297 or leave a web tip here.

 
PLEASE KEEP YOUR EYE OUT

FOR THE CAR THAT KILLED MY SON!

Even if you don't live in the Evansville area, please keep an eye out for this car. It was traveling South on I-69. It could have been coming from and going to anywhere. The Sheriff's office will follow up any ANY lead.

The Sheriff’s Office has identified the make and model of the suspect vehicle from the fatal hit and run crash that killed 23-year old David “Davy” Egan, father of two, on Friday, June 22, 2018 on I-69 near south Green River Road.

SUSPECT VEHICLE: Silver 1998-2002 Honda Accord sedan. 2-door or 4-door body style. The vehicle will have damage to the front end.

If you know of a vehicle matching this description, please contact the Sheriff's Office TIP line at 812-421-6297 or leave a web tip here.

Snow Last Week

It wasn't much, and I hate the cold, but the trees in my woods sure looked pretty. The temperature is typically close to 60º this time of year ... it is not supposed to be cold enough to snow until December at the earliest!

Around Halloween, I started to take the cushions from my patio furniture into the garage for the winter, but I stopped myself ... November is a nice time to sit on the patio or porch at night ... it's usually cool, but not cold.

I thought I'd have more warm weather to get the yard ready for winter, but that was not meant to be. We usually have some exceptionally warm weather here and there during winter. Hopefully this year will follow suit, and I'll be able to get the leaves off the grass ... but the cushions will be coming inside today.

We are offering a $1,000 REWARD for information leading to the arrest of the person responsible for the death of my son in a fatal hit and run on I-69 South on the Green River overpass in Evansville, Indiana around 11:00pm on Friday, June 22, 2018.The car that hit him was determined to be a 1998-2002 Silver Honda Accord. There would have been considerable damage to the front, passenger side of the vehicle, but it could be repaired by now. (See the Sheriff Bulletin below).

If you have any information, please contact the Sheriff's Office TIP line at 812-421-6297 or leave a web tip here.

 
PLEASE KEEP YOUR EYE OUT

FOR THE CAR THAT KILLED MY SON!

Even if you don't live in the Evansville area, please keep an eye out for this car. It was traveling South on I-69. It could have been coming from and going to anywhere. The Sheriff's office will follow up any ANY lead.

The Sheriff’s Office has identified the make and model of the suspect vehicle from the fatal hit and run crash that killed 23-year old David “Davy” Egan, father of two, on Friday, June 22, 2018 on I-69 near south Green River Road.

SUSPECT VEHICLE: Silver 1998-2002 Honda Accord sedan. 2-door or 4-door body style. The vehicle will have damage to the front end.

If you know of a vehicle matching this description, please contact the Sheriff's Office TIP line at 812-421-6297 or leave a web tip here.

$1,000 Reward

We are offering a $1,000 REWARD for information leading to the arrest of the person responsible for the death of my son in a fatal hit and run on I-69 South on the Green River overpass in Evansville, Indiana around 11:00pm on Friday, June 22, 2018.The car that hit him was determined to be a 1998-2002 Silver Honda Accord. There would have been considerable damage to the front, passenger side of the vehicle, but it could be repaired by now. (See the Sheriff Bulletin below).

If you have any information, please contact the Sheriff's Office TIP line at 812-421-6297 or leave a web tip here.

PLEASE KEEP YOUR EYE OUT

FOR THE CAR THAT KILLED MY SON!

Even if you don't live in the Evansville area, please keep an eye out for this car. It was traveling South on I-69. It could have been coming from and going to anywhere. The Sheriff's office will follow up any ANY lead.

The Sheriff’s Office has identified the make and model of the suspect vehicle from the fatal hit and run crash that killed 23-year old David “Davy” Egan, father of two, on Friday, June 22, 2018 on I-69 near south Green River Road.

SUSPECT VEHICLE: Silver 1998-2002 Honda Accord sedan. 2-door or 4-door body style. The vehicle will have damage to the front end (which could have been repaired by now).

If you know of a vehicle matching this description, please contact the Sheriff's Office TIP line at 812-421-6297 or leave a web tip here.