Don't forget to visit my website! Jackie Coleman - Author

Sunday, January 20, 2013


I’m a city girl, born and bred. I like the country and appreciate the solitude, but I like having neighbors close ... not too close, but close enough to hear the gunshots if someone were to break in. (Okay, that’s a bit morbid, but it’s also true.)

Having been raised in the city, I was completely unprepared to deal with the raccoons that live in the small woods behind us when we moved into this house ten years ago. Raccoons? In the city? I was flabbergasted! Raccoons are supposed to live out in the country!

Sick of the raccoons getting into my trash cans and making a general mess of things, I took to the internet to research how to kill them. I didn’t want them to suffer ... well, actually I didn’t care if they suffered, but I figured that wasn’t a very Christian-like attitude, so I thought I should find a way to ensure their demise in a humane manner.

Every website I found had a warning prominently displayed ... “It is unlawful to kill a raccoon out of season”. Not only did website after website warn me of this, I couldn’t find even ONE with advice on how to kill them!

The internet hosts a wealth of websites I find offensive. Someone can find out how to build a bomb, how to cook meth, and download all the child pornography they can choke on ... but apparently it’s wrong to kill a raccoon!

I toyed with finding a website on how to build bombs. I mean, these people certainly don't care if a person dies a slow and agonizing death ... surely they wouldn't have any qualms about killing a raccoon ... even if it is out of season. But, I really didn’t want to go to a website like that, so I called the Humane Society and rented a nice trap that captures them alive and unharmed. The cage works by closing the door when they step on a piece of metal at the opposite end of the door.

The first night I threw a piece of old pizza in the cage. The next morning the pizza was gone ... and so was the raccoon.

Not to be outsmarted by a raccoon, the next night I took some floral wire and wired the pizza to the bottom of the cage. That critter might get the pizza, but by George, he was going to have to work for it and he was going to step on that trap door thing to do it!!

Sure enough, there was a tired, angry raccoon in the cage the next morning. I called Animal Control and they picked it up. Every day, for the next couple of weeks, I caught another raccoon. It got to the point that I no longer had to give them my address ... I just told them who I was and that I had another raccoon! After the fourteenth day I didn’t catch any more raccoons, so I took the cage back to the Humane Society.

That evening I skipped through my backyard, whistling happily, as I deposited a couple of bags into the trash can, making sure to securely fasten the lid. The next morning, trash was strewn all over the place! Fed up, and unable to kill them out of season, I went to Lowe’s and bought two dumpster-type trash cans that they can’t get the lid off of ... for $75 each! Fortunately, $150 worth of trash cans has solved my raccoon problem.

It boggles my mind, though, to think of all the filth available on the web. There seems to be no regard for the safety of children or respect for human life ... yet there seems to be a line even the lowest of the low will not cross ... it's simply wrong to kill a raccoon!

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