Happy Birthday America!

As we celebrate the birth of this great nation, I'd like to remind everyone that this country was founded on Christian values. That is not opinion or mere speculation ... it's an absolute fact. Our founding fathers were Christians, and our constitution and laws were based on Biblical principles.

I'm never going to run for office and I'll never be President, so it doesn't really matter what I think. But if I were President, there are a number of things I'd address immediately:

1. First, I would return prayer to schools. If a Christian prayer offends you, put your fingers in your ears and softly hum 'Mary Had a Little Lamb' until it's over.
2. I'd make sure everyone understood what "Separation of church and state" actually means: It's not that the government cannot display symbols of or quote from the Bible or that the government is prohibited from making reference to or promoting Christianity ... all it means is that the government cannot force you to be a specific religion.
3. The Ten Commandments could be displayed anywhere, as could nativity scenes at Christmas. Paying homage to the principles this country was founded on is not offensive. If you don't like looking at them, then turn your head.
4. The two week break in December would once again be called "Christmas Break" and the week in the spring would be "Easter Break". Even if you are not a Christian, that's what those breaks are for! Instead of getting their panties in a wad, non-Christians should be thanking us for giving them lots of holidays and time off work!
5. I would make sure, in both thought and deed, that our allies, especially Israel, know we count them as our friend and that we stand with them.
6. Students would be taught history as it actually occurred, even if it's unpleasant and ugly ... i.e., the treatment of American Indians, slavery, the holocaust, etc.
7. Before graduating from high school, students would have to pass the same test as immigrants do when they want to become a naturalized citizen. It's not asking too much to expect kids to know the history of this country.
8. I'd make sure Congress could not pass any laws that specifically exclude themselves. If we're stuck with obamacare, they should be also ... including (and especially) obama himself. Unlike us, those who passed this legislation were able to keep their current healthcare plan and their doctors ... and are forever immune from the taxes, penalties, and legal implications of this disastrous law. 
9. I would enact a two-term limit for all elected offices. No exception ... ever.
10. I would carve it in stone that you must be an American citizen to vote, and you must show a photo ID to prove who you are before casting your ballot.
11. If you want to live here, you must learn English. We do not have to learn your language ... you have to learn ours.
12. I'd secure our borders. It's not mean or impossible. Every other country in the world does this and so should we.
13. I'd change citizenship laws ... one of your parents must be an American citizen, either by birth or naturalization, for you to automatically become an American citizen when born here. It was never the founding father's intention that people should be rewarded for sneaking into our country illegally.
14. If you are not in the country legally, you cannot obtain a driver's license (and by extension, vote!).
15. If you are not in this country legally, you are not eligible for food stamps, welfare, free healthcare, or any other government benefits. All you are eligible for is incarceration and/or deportation.
16. Speaking of government benefits ... if you want them, you should have to pass a drug test to get them, just like many of the people paying for those benefits did.
17. Unless you are disabled or under-employed, there should be a time limit on how long you can receive government assistance without employment. If someone is working and doesn't make enough to feed their family, I have no problem helping them (I was once one of those people). But I chafe at paying a healthy, able-bodied adult who isn't even trying to get a job to sit on their sofa and watch television or play video games. Government benefits were designed to be a hand up when you are down. They were never intended to be a way of life.
18. If you are not an American citizen, you can have an opinion, but you cannot protest our laws. If you don't like living under our laws, you are free to go back to your country of origin.
19. There would be no "hate crime" laws. I would like to think that if someone rapes and/or murders me (or anyone else for that matter) that they would be punished as harshly as they would if I were homosexual or a minority.
20. The issue of gun-control would be off the table. Owning a gun is as fundamental a right as our right to free speech.
21. The nauseatingly sick act of murdering a baby in the birth canal just before it's born so that a mother delivers a dead infant, then justifying it by calling it "partial birth abortion", would be considered and prosecuted for what it is ... murder.
22. Going into further debt to fund pork-belly projects and earmarks for powerful leaders would be stopped immediately. I can see going into debt to fund our military and other critical programs, but to go trillions of dollars into debt for ridiculous things ... like 30 MILLION dollars to study the San Francisco Salt Marsh mouse ... is ludicrous ... and in my opinion, criminal. When you are broke ... and America is ... you fund critical programs ... not wants and wishes.
23. I would do everything possible to make America less dependent on foreign oil. In addition to the jobs this would create, we would no longer be at the mercy of countries who don't really like us.
24. I'd put a stop to the ridiculous issues deemed as "politically incorrect". For instance, the American flag could be proudly displayed anywhere. Homeowners associations could not ban them from subdivisions, and teenagers could wear shirts with the American flag on them to school ... even on May 5th. It might be offensive to wear an American flag t-shirt on Cinco de Mayo IN MEXICO, but celebrating the American flag in America, even on the independence day of another country, is not wrong. 

I know there are people who don't agree with me, and that's fine. I don't understand how anyone could think differently, but in America everyone is entitled to their own opinion ... for now, anyway.

The LST 325

World War II Vets Saluting the ShrinersFest Crowd
from the deck of the LST-325 in Evansville, Indiana
June 27, 2015

In February of 1942, Evansville, Indiana was picked by the Navy's Bureau of Ships to become one of four inland or "cornfield" shipyards, with the largest being in Evansville. LST's (Landing Ship Tank's) were designed to have a large ballast system that could be filled with sea water to give the ship a deep draft for seafaring, or emptied so that the ship could sail very close to beaches to unload its cargo. Although the 325 was not one of the LST's produced in Evansville, that is the port she has called home since 2003 ... and will hopefully continue to call her home as long as she can float. Click here to read about her history and visitor information.

LST's were an integral part of the D-Day invasions in France. Winston Churchill, the Prime Minister of Britain, recalled his frustration at gathering everything needed to pull off the Normandy invasion, including waiting for enough LST's to be produced. He said, "The destinies of two great empires seemed to be tied up in some (*expletive removed*) thing called LST's."

Although slow and unwieldy, LST's were tough enough to absorb a tremendous amount of damage. Despite being a valuable target because they carried large amounts of cargo, only twenty-six were lost in action. Of those twenty-six, only thirteen were actually sunk by enemy fire.

The ships proved to be quite versatile, too. Some were converted to become repair ships, and some others into floating barracks. Thirty-eight LSTs were converted into hospital ships. In June 1944, during the first couple of days of the assault on the beaches of Normandy, converted LST hospital ships treated and transported 41,035 wounded soldiers.

Below are photographs of LST's, many of them LST-325.

USS Boise firing on armor forces near Gela, Sicily, Italy
as LST-325, full of US Army trucks, approach the landing beaches.
July 11,1943

Photo 1 of 4
LST-134 and LST-325 beached at Normandy, France
as jeeps driving along the invasion beach
carry casualties to the waiting vessels.
June 12, 1944

Photo 2 of 4

June 12, 1944

Photo 3 of 4
June 12, 1944

Photo 4 of 4
June 12, 1944

LST-72 and LST-325 unloading directly onto trucks
after being left 'high and dry' by the tide at Morlaix, France.
September 5, 1944

Photo 1 of 2
LSTs unloading at low tide in the Easy sector
of Omaha Beach, Normandy
June 28, 1944

Photo 2 of 4
June 28, 1944

M4 Sherman tanks being unloaded from
USCG-manned LST-67 and LST-66, Noemfoor, New Guinea
Note leading tank with bulldozer blade
July 1944

Columns of troop-packed American LCI landing craft
in the wake of a USCG-manned LST
en route to Cape Sansapor, New Guinea
Mid 1944

LST-325 (left) and USS LST-388
unloading while stranded at low tide
during the invasion of Normandy
June 1944

LST-66 landing troops
during the invasion of Cape Gloucester, New Britain
Dec. 1943

More photographs of LST's can be found at the World War II Database website.

Bad news for the lady who sat behind me in church ...

It was really painful to listen her. She had no idea how bad she sounded. I was genuinely embarrassed for her ... and her husband! If the punishment is commensurate to the degree they were off-key, she'd be in jail for a long, long, long, long time.

Man Assaults Toad

After being escorted out of a bar, a man in northern Indiana picked up a toad and started licking it and dancing with it in the parking lot.

The police arrived and told him he couldn't be on the bar's property. The man apparently left, but came back ... licking and dancing with a different toad. (I'm not sure who determined it was a different toad, but that's what the story says!) He was then arrested for misdemeanor trespassing.

While reading this story, I noted a number of errors on his part:

1. You're not supposed to lick them, you're supposed to kiss them.
2. You're supposed to kiss frogs ... I'm not sure if it works with toads.
3. And, if I understand it correctly, it doesn't work for the random drunken idiot in a bar parking lot ... I believe it only works for princesses.

The real victims here, of course, are those toads. They have to be traumatized. There's probably not enough water in all of the Great Lakes to wash away the memory of an assault like that. The poor things may never recover.

You can read the full story here.

Augustus "The Guppy" Puppy

Unlike his brothers ... Roo the pit bull and Louie the cat ... little Gus LOVES water!

Snowbirds and Blue Angels

The Canadian Snowbirds

I enjoyed the airshow at the ShrinersFest this year, but it was a little too strung out. The show was supposed to start at 12:40, but it was close to 1:00 before we saw the first plane. The first "act", the Canadian Snowbirds, were pretty cool, as were the Blue Angels ... but the Blue Angels didn't start flying until around 3:30. The announcer rarely told us where to look for the next fly-over, so the crowd spent a lot of time just looking up, waiting for something to happen ... and missing photo opportunities because you never knew which direction to focus on.

We sat in the sun, basting in our own sweat for four hours. The lines at every single food booth were so long it was difficult to find the end of them. I was starving, so I stood in line for over thirty minutes to buy a hot dog ... and it wasn't even grilled ... it was boiled. Yum! Because the lines for all the food booths were so long, we ended up getting free water from the medical tent. It wasn't very cold, but it was wet and we needed the hydration.

The air show is really the big draw for the ShrinersFest, so I understand their reasons for making it last as long as they can  (the longer the air show lasts, the longer people are there spending money) ... but geez ... we were sick of being there long before the Blue Angels arrived. They need to make the show more compact. There were long gaps between fly-overs. It took so long it was boring! If we weren't waiting for the Blue Angels, we would have left a lot sooner. Even so, we did leave before the Blue Angels were done. We were hot, sweaty, hungry, thirsty, and sunburned. Four hours is a long time to sit in the sun to waiting for a plane to fly by ... not even the Blue Angels could keep us there any longer.

But, when the planes were flying, it was pretty cool. Below are a few (very short) clips of the air show:

The Top of Thing 1's Feet Were Burning ... So I Fixed It!

Thing 1, Thing 3, and I went to the riverfront for the ShrinersFest airshow yesterday. Despite applying sunscreen several times, the tops of fair-skinned Thing 1's feet were really red. She loves airshows, and the Blue Angels in particular. She didn't want to leave before they arrived, so I figured out a way to protect her feet from the sun.

Buttons for the airshow ... $30. Free water from the medical tent because the lines at ALL the food booths were really, really, really long ... $0. A picture of those cups on my daughter's feet ... Priceless!

What do the Shinersfest and Kitty Hawk Kites have in common?

Thing 3's Blue Angel Kite in Kitty Hawk, NC

Blue Angels! When my kids were growing up, I always took them to the festivals downtown. They always included an air show, and the best years were the ones where the Blue Angels came. As an added bonus, the festivals often coincide with Thing 3's birthday. He's always considered the air shows our city's birthday gift to him!

The Blue Angels are in town for the Shrinersfest this weekend, which means everyone spends their days running to the window or standing in parking lots watching as the airplanes fly over for practice runs. If you work downtown, and I do, it's impossible to get any work done when the jets are practicing ... they're just too cool to watch ... and too loud to ignore!

A few years ago, we went to Nags Head on the Outer Banks for vacation. One day we drove up to Kitty Hawk. We all bought kites and flew them on a huge sand dune (pictured below). My son chose a Blue Angel kite (pictured above). Of all the kites we saw that week ... and we saw many ... my son's kite was by far my favorite.

Sand Dune in Kitty Hawk, NC

The kids and I will be heading downtown this afternoon to watch the air show. More fun than watching the planes fly overhead is seeing the happiness on my kid's faces. They may all be adults now, but when they look up at the sky to watch the air show, I see the same look of wonder and awe and excitement as when they were little kids.

Photo courtesy of my BFF

Photo courtesy of my favorite sister-in-law

I'm Keeping the Doors Locked Today

I'm not sure what this cow did to get locked up in the first place, but it must be pretty bad if an APB is put out when she escaped. I'm not terribly close to Boonville-New Harmony Road and St. Wendel Road, but I'm not too terribly far, either. I'll play it safe and make sure to keep the doors locked and the alarm on today!

I Don't Know Who's Weirder ...

... the dog or my daughter.

Oh, who am I kidding?

 My daughter is the weirdo!