Napping Protocol

Unlike a lot of things that have hard and fast rules, like whether the toilet paper is hung over the top or from the bottom ... (the correct way is over the top) ... napping has no set of rules. Really! When it comes to napping, anything goes.

Take the napping location. Napping is acceptable in bed, on the sofa, or in a recliner. You can nap inside or outside. Napping rules are so versatile that you can nap on the sofa one day and in bed the next! For those who choose to nap in bed, there is an additional consideration ... on top of or underneath the covers.

Me? Well, I'm firmly in the nap-in-bed-on-top-of-the-covers camp. Getting under the covers is too much of a commitment ... that's only for "real" sleeping or when I'm sick. Besides, I can't stand an unmade bed. If I napped under the covers, I'd just have to make the bed again, which makes napping under the covers less pleasurable.

My nap time does comer with an exciting twist ... I nap with my head at the foot of the bed and my body at an angle. There was no real thought process that went into this, it's just something I've always done. If I had to guess as to why, I'd say it's so that I don't disturb the pillows on the other side of the bed.

When my little grandson is over, I'll lay down with him when he naps. He sleeps better, and longer, when I lay down with him. I don't sleep ... I just close my eyes and lay beside him. He's almost ten months, so when he's awake, he's a busy boy ... but when he's tired or sleeping, he's a cuddler.

I never feel guilty for napping or laying down with the baby. I don't lay there thinking of what I should be doing instead of napping like a lazy slug ... I fall asleep thinking about what a decadent, luxurious thing a nap is. Since they don't do themselves, any chore I'm putting off will still be there when I awake ... and I refuse to give up those sleepy cuddles from my grandson. Before I know it, he'll be too big for naps and there won't be any lazy afternoons when he's content to fall asleep in Grandma's arms. And even though I don't sleep ... those are the best naps.

Snack Time at Thing 1's

If she's even half as good at raising kids as she is at raising dogs, those grandbabies will be very well behaved!

Happy 240th Birthday America!

It's hard to believe our country has only been in existence for 240 years, and how much we have changed the world.

We succeeded in gaining our independence from the British despite the fact that they confiscated the guns of the colonists and denied us the right to buy gunpowder. Hitler did the same thing. First he forced people to register their guns, then systematically took them away. With no way to protect themselves, they were at the mercy of the murderous Nazi's, who showed no one mercy.

Our right to bear arms is as much to personally protect ourselves and our families from intruders or those who wish us harm as it is for us to protect ourselves from our government. No one knows that better than the colonists who rose up against the British ... and those the Nazi's methodically murdered all across Europe.

The First Amendment, the freedom of speech, gives me the right to write this post. The Second Amendment, gives me the right to protect myself and my family. These amendments weren't put in place with a devil-may-care attitude ... and they were given to us with a guarantee that the government could not ever take them away.

Guns do kill a lot of people, but then, so does heroin. Should we make heroin illegal so that people can't use it? Oh, that's right ... it already is. I guess we see how well the criminals obey the law. Does anyone think that stricter gun laws would stop mass shooters? The people who's actions stir these debates don't pay attention to laws ... all they do is create gun-free zones where they can carry out their barbaric act unimpeded. 

As you celebrate our Nation's birthday, remember those who fought so hard to give us the freedoms we enjoy today ... and think long and hard before giving any of those rights away.

Yesterday Was "I Forgot Day"

And I truly forgot! I intended to post about "I Forgot Day", but when I sat down at my laptop yesterday morning, I wrote about Thing 2. But I don't feel too bad ... given the name of the "holiday", I suppose it's appropriate to forget!

Mothers and Daughters

The kids had a really good pediatric dentist when they were growing up. They loved their dentist and were never afraid to see him. It was good that they weren't afraid to go to the dentist, but it made making them switch to a "adult" dentist difficult.

I kept telling them that I have a great dentist and to call and make an appointment. Thing 1 finally did. She primarily see my dentist's son, who is practicing with him. And guess what? She loves both of them!

When Thing 2 needed to go to the dentist. I told her to call mine. Thing 1 told her she has seen both my dentist and his son, that she likes them both, and to call for an appointment. She ignored us both until she couldn't put it off any longer. She made an appointment and saw my dentist ... and she loves him! 

They sent me a couple of gift card to me as a thank you for referring her, along with a form letter ... with a kind note handwritten at the bottom. "Thanks. What a nice gal and definitely your daughter". I took it as a compliment, but it's just as likely that it was a huge insult to my daughter!

All of my siblings are kind and generous, but one sister is particularly generous. She will help you or give anything she has to someone who needs it more. She once bought my parents a new hot water heater. They had the money to buy it, but she wanted to do it for them. She's also bought new carpet and furniture for them, as a surprise. She was always taking me and my sisters out for ice cream or hamburgers or joy rides in her brand new Pinto. She didn't know how to swim, so she bought me and my sisters swimming lessons. She was always doing something nice for someone.

I see a lot of that sister in Thing 2. She's always been much more generous than the average child, and has grown into an equally generous adult. A lot of people are generous with their surplus, but my sister and my daughter are generous whether or not they have it to spare. If someone needs something they have, they'll give it to them ... even if they need it or want to keep it. And, unlike many, they don't mourn the loss of their money (or item) ... it makes them happier to give it to someone who needed it more.

Thing 2 was always a sweet, easy-going child. When I had her, I had pneumonia and some stomach bug. I had to be admitted to the hospital early for IV antibiotics. A few days later, they induced my labor. I was afraid she wouldn't make it. She didn't cry immediately and that terrified me. I couldn't bring myself to ask "Is she alive?", because the alternative is that she is not alive. so I asked what color she was ... pink, she's alive ... blue, she's not breathing. The room was full of people, but no one answered, so with my voice trembling with fear, I screamed, "WHAT COLOR IS SHE?". My sister was in the room with me and she knew what I was asking, so she told "She's fine". When I retold that story to someone later, they asked "Did you think you were going to have a black baby?" And that's when it hit me ... everyone in the delivery room was probably thinking, "She doesn't even know the race of the father???". No wonder no one said anything ... they were too busy judging me for being such a slut that I didn't even know the race of the father!

Once I got her home, she slept all the time and was difficult to wake up for a feeding. She was a few weeks early and had had so many of the drugs pumped into my body flowing into hers that she was just lethargic. I wasn't worried, but my (now ex-)husband was. He wanted me to call her doctor. I told him there wasn't anything wrong. She was eating, she was wetting the appropriate number of diapers, etc., but he insisted. So, I called. They asked all the questions I knew they would ask, then they finally asked me why I called. I said "Because my husband made me." Even though the doctor gave us a thumbs-up on our daughters health, he was still mad at me. Go figure!

When she was four, she was the most perfect child you could ever ask for. There was nothing about her I would have changed. Nothing. I asked her if she would stay four forever, and she said yes. Every year after that, we have celebrated her fourth birthday. When she would tell me she wasn't four, I would ask "You mean you lied to me?" She'd sigh and answer, "No".

She stayed sweet and easy-going throughout her childhood. We had a few months of drama during her high school years, but that's pretty much it as far as "trouble" is concerned. She's always been a delight to be around ... and she still is. We regularly have lunch together. She'll come to my office and we'll eat in the lunch room. My co-workers all know her now, and one of them commented, "You two have the best mother/daughter relationship I've ever seen." What a compliment! We do have a good relationship. We laugh and talk and enjoy many of the same things.

Everyone who dreams of having a daughter, dreams that she will be exactly like Thing 2. She is an amazing daughter, and I often have to pinch myself to make sure I'm not dreaming ... that this beautiful, funny, sweet, generous, intelligent, talented woman is really "mine". 

And do you know what? She's still pretty much perfect!

The Saga of Cell Phones

Remember the Palm Pilot? I do. I got my first Palm Pilot in 2003 ... and I loved it. These came out when my kids were young and I was a network administrator for a large law firm. Everything went in it. Everything. I had to keep track of a lot of people and this nifty little device let me ditch the paper calendar.

I was so happy.

When Palm came out with the Treo ... a cell phone with all the power of Palm calendaring, I thought I'd died and gone to heaven! Being on the same platform, I was able to sync all my Palm Pilot data right into my Treo! At that time, I didn't even care that it weighed more than a Buick.

There came a time, however, that I did care. It weighed so much I had to wear a belt to keep my pants up. Despite my love for my Treo, I desired a thinner, lighter model. And, since I'd had this phone for so long, I was long overdue for an upgrade.

Wanting to stay on the same platform so that I could seamlessly move my data over, I waited a long time for my carrier to get the Palm Pre, but the calendar turned out to be a joke. You'd never know the Pre was made by a company that built their name on superior calendar functionality. I tried everything to make it work for me, including purchasing some expensive software to try to transfer my data ... which resulted in duplicate entries on my calendar ... something I didn't realize until later. I had that horrid phone less than a week before I took it back and got a Blackberry Torch. It took me several months to clean up my calendar, but I did it. I got rid of all the duplicate entries (I thought).

And, oh, how I loved my Blackberry!!

After many faithful years, my Blackberry began to fall apart. Once again, I waited a really, really, really long time for my carrier to get the new Blackberry Z10. I kept it only a few days ... just long enough (once again) to purchase several different apps and programs designed to export my old Blackberry data into the new one. I took it back and got a Samsung Galaxy S4. The native note app was worthless, but the calendar worked flawlessly ... as long as I synced with a Google calendar. I didn't want to, but I was forced to, and I reluctantly accepted my fate. I found a note app that I could back up to an external source, and once again ... life was good. It took me several months to clean up my calendar (which imported all those duplicate entries I thought I had gotten rid of), but I did it. I got rid of all the duplicate entries ... again ... I thought.

I had this phone for about a year and a half when "it" told me there was a software update available. Did I want to install it? "No". It asked me again, and once again, I told it "No". It asked me again. I told it "No". It asked me again. I told it "No". It asked me again. I told it "No" ... then it installed it anyway.

Without boring you with all the gory details, I soon discovered my phone now only stored one year's worth of calendar data. Samsung tech support agreed the phone wasn't working as designed, but they had no idea why, and suggested a factory reset. I didn't want to, but a couple of weeks later, I decided that was my only choice, only to discover ... to my absolute horror ... that the calendar bug was still there ... along with not only duplicate calendar entries, and in some cases, triplicate!

I was still in the process of cleaning up my calendar when I dropped my phone. It landed flat on its back, face up, and began having a seizure. I have had a cell phone since the 90's and have never lost or damaged one ... ever ... but I did that one. I stared at that stupid phone that had caused me so much angst over the last few months ... and I didn't even attempt CPR. The screen was worthless, but the data was still there. I plugged it up to my computer and copied all my data over ... then went and got another phone ... and set everything up ... FOR THE SECOND TIME IN LESS THAN A WEEK.

My new phone works well. I have installed all the apps I bought to replace the native apps that really aren't worth the time it took to write them ... and all is well with the world again. Except ... I can't turn off the weather app and facebook keeps installing itself. I have NEVER, nor will I EVER, get on facebook on my phone, and I DON'T WANT A WEATHER APP! I would love to root my phone and get rid of all pre-loaded apps that I DON'T WANT, WILL NEVER USE, AND THAT KEEP RE-ENABLING THEMSELVES! It's not possible to root my phone right now ... but a lot of smart geeks are working on cracking the code every day ... and I hold out hope that they'll figure out a way ... and then I'll have to set up my phone from scratch ... AGAIN! (Sob!)

I know what you're thinking and the answer is, yes ... I do realize that my obsession to have a phone that works exactly like I want it to borders on the psychotic. The people around me just look the other way when I'm messing with my phone (with smoke coming out of my ears!) and try not to ask any questions ... for fear I'll answer them!

If it Looks Like a Duck ...

I'm all for "innocent until proven guilty", and I realize we can't know with one hundred percent certainty that alcohol was a factor without a blood or breath test ... but honestly ... does anyone think alcohol was not a factor in his behavior? For his, and his family's sake, I certainly hope alcohol was involved!

Toe Stretchers

I was window shopping online and came across this nifty invention. At first glance, this little appliance looked like the apparatus women use when painting their toes. I've never used them ... my toes line up side by side without overlap, allowing me to paint my toes without fear of them attacking each other and ruining my pedicure. But, as I read the description, it wasn't for painting your toes ... it was designed to be worn inside shoes! I don't know about you, but I think my feet would hurt a lot worse if I tried to stuff my foot into a shoe with those on my toes!

The product description said ... “Toe Separator Socks or Stretchers may help improve the health and comfort of your feet, and may help reduce friction between your toes. They can be worn all day and easily fit in most shoes. These flexible toe stretchers may help relieve tension in your feet and legs, and may help realigh and straighten toes to restore flexibility and circulation. They may even help alleviate the symptoms of bunions and metatarsalgia." (Say that word three times fast!)

Metatarsalgia. Metatarsalgia. Metatarsalgia. 

Let's make that our word of the day, shall we?!

For those of you getting ready to Google the word "metatarsalgia", I've done it for you ... it's when the ball of your foot becomes painful or inflamed.

And this concludes our podiactric lesson for the day!

In Her Heart, She's Still Eight

Thing 1 has been a life-long sidewalk chalk addict. She spent many hours of her childhood happily drawing whatever spoke to her heart that day. She's all grown up now, but she still gets excited when sidewalk chalk goes on sale! The other day she drew a hummingbird. She's really quite good!

There has always been a sweet innocence about Thing 1. She's not necessarily naive, per se, she just doesn't have a mean bone in her body (she did when she was three, but that's another story!). Since she's not manipulative or vengeful, she is particularly hurt when someone takes advantage of her kindness and empathy ... and I don't blame her. It doesn't stop her from being nice, but the person that abused her thoughtfulness in the past won't get the same courtesy extended to them in the future. Oh, she'll still be nice to them, but she won't inconvenience herself for them again.

Her incorruptible nature is one of the things I love about her. She knows who she is. She knows what makes her happy, so she isn't susceptible to peer pressure. It's never bothered her that she's the only sober one at a party. She's happiest at home with her husband and animals, or having friends over for an evening of burgers and playing board games. I think the world would be a lot better place if there were more Thing 1's around.

So, when I see her sidewalk art, I can't help but smile that something so simple makes her so happy. You can see more of her sidewalk creations here and here.

This Equation Can Predict Happiness

Scientists claim this equation can predict happiness, but just looking at it makes me sad. And depressed. And most of all, nauseous. The only thing worse than having to solve this equation would be if I had to do it in Siberia ... in December ... naked.