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Sunday, January 5, 2014

Squirrels and Raccoons ... My Arch-Enemies!

This is a picture of my patio chair cushion. I texted this picture to my boyfriend and told him that I was certain the villainous squirrels had something to do with this. I had no proof, but it certainly seemed like something those glorified rats would do ... just to irk me!

He thought I was crazy, and he's probably right, but I still blamed the squirrels.

One afternoon I was talking on the phone to the insurance company about repairing some damage a raccoon did to my house (read my first raccoon blog here). I was looking out the window as I spoke, and saw a squirrel run up onto my deck and grab a wad of chair stuffing!

The insurance agent must have thought I'd lost my mind because I raced outside screaming at the squirrel. It put the wad of stuffing in it's mouth and ran away!!

I knew it!!! It was squirrels!!! I was vindicated! I don't have it on video, but I saw it with my own two, squirrel-despising eyes! My gut instinct was correct ... it was the squirrels destroying my patio furniture!

Squirrels and raccoons have been my arch-enemies for years. Now, before you tell me how cute they are, save your breath ... it will do absolutely no good ... you'll be beating a dead horse. I know many squirrel lovers, and after hearing all the squirrels and raccoons have done to terrorize me, they all agree that if they were me, they'd hate them, too! I can even sympathize (to a degree) with squirrel lovers, as I was once (in my days of carefree innocence) entertained by their antics ... but it's all a trick, designed to lure us into complacency ... and then they make their move. If you think about it, they're really quite diabolical!!

A critter guy, who has made numerous trips to my house, says he gets quite a bit of business from the small area I live in ... because some senile old lady up the hill feeds the squirrels and raccoons ... and it draws them into the neighborhood like flies to honey. The critter guy, and several neighbors, have spoken to her, begging her to stop feeding them, detailing the expense those (filthy, disgusting) creatures have done to these century-old homes, but she doesn't care. She continues to feed them ... and so they continue damaging our homes and property. At this point, my only hope is that I outlive that decrepit old bat!!

I now understand know how Wile E. Coyote felt ... and I'm wondering if the Acme Corporation has an online storefront ... and how fast they deliver.

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