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Wednesday, September 10, 2014


If only it had been this easy to get her down for a nap when she was little!
I took this photograph of Thing 2 and Olivia napping the other day. If Olivia looks upset, it's because she is. She's afraid her biggest fear will be realized ... that this pic will end up on my blog ... and she'll be outed for not being indifferent to the wants and desires of her captor.

As it turns out, her fears were well-founded.

The Cat Rules are pretty clear that a all feline/human interaction must be on the feline's terms. Cats are only to allow their tormentor's to pet them once for every ten times a human makes an Affection Request. If, however, the cat makes a request and this request is denied, the human will forfeit their petting privileges 100 times or one week (in cat years) ... which ever comes first. The duration of each approved request depends on a variety of factors, including ... but not limited to ... the number of times canned cat food is served and/or new toys are introduced and/or the litter box is cleaned out ... and/or the water and food bowls are kept full and fresh.

When a feline grants an Affection Request, every effort must be made to ensure the interaction ends before the human's need for feline companionship is fulfilled. The cat mantra must be strictly adhered to ... "Always leave them wanting more".

Taking a nap on a human's lap is acceptable only under certain conditions, and only if the human understands that they cannot move if they have a sleeping cat on their lap.

Felines are to employ whatever means necessary to extricate themselves from any and all cuddling situations before the human is content and satisfied ... unless it's to make a human or another animal jealous. The only exception is when a three-year-old has a deadly choke-hold on said feline.

When the other cats get online and see Olivia, content in the arms of her sleeping Jailer, her punishment will likely be swift and severe. Until she is able to redeem herself, she will be subjected to ridicule by the other cats for behaving like (shudder) ... a dog! By the weeks end, I expect Olivia will be the laughing stock of the feline world.

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