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Tuesday, February 4, 2014

The Key To Longevity

The key to longevity, according to one particular panel of experts, depends on whether you are a man or a woman. Sleep is crucial for men, while women need plenty of vitamin B6 and vegetables.

I hate to sound like a spoiled child, but that's not fair! Men already get to pee standing up and make more money! Why do they get to sleep while we have to eat vegetables? (I have a sneaky suspicion that there were no women helping to conduct this study!!)

Don't get me wrong ... I love vegetables. I can eat double my weight in almost any vegetable. I adore garlic roasted asparagus, green beans with bacon and onion, and broccoli with butter and seasoned salt. When I make a roast with carrots and potatoes, I use three times the amount of carrots and I eat them all! I salivate at the mere thought of a spinach salad from one particular local restaurant, and more than once, I've ordered nothing but broccoli when eating at a steakhouse we frequent. I love peas, and there is a broccoli/cauliflower salad that I would do most anything for. I even add celery and carrots to my chicken and dumplings, when I am not required to do so!

But I think I like sleep even more.

In all fairness, I do get to sit and "rest" while I pee. I guess you can't judge a man until you walked a mile in his shoes, had to stand in those shoes while peeing, and all while lugging around a heavy wallet.

I guess it's a good thing I don't live with my boyfriend ... I'd probably ruin the sleep so necessary to his longevity with the loud crunching of all the vegetables I have to eat!


  1. Peeing while sitting is much more relaxing than when standing. And you don't have to stare at a blank wall.

  2. Jess, there is no law saying you have to pee standing up, staring at a blank wall ... you can pee sitting down if you want:) But, if you must stand and get tired of staring at a blank wall, you can always use the Texaco station!