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Sunday, February 1, 2015

I've Been Showering All Wrong

Before I tell you about the proper way to shower (which I have no intention of ever doing), I have a quick announcement ...

This is my 500th blog post!
(Cue the confetti and noise makers!) 

Now, as Paul Harvey would say, here's 'the rest of the story' ...

Turns out, I've been showering all wrong!

Turns out ... I don't care!

I read an article that says a hot shower makes you sleepy. The expert interviewed for the article gifted humanity with instructions as to how to take a shower ... correctly. "Right before you turn off the water, crank it to freezing cold for 30 seconds, then back to hot, then finally to freezing again."

Um ... (insert expletive here) ... NO!! 

For the record, I don't take a shower to wake up. The intention of my morning shower is to end up clean, and ready to start the day happy and refreshed. If I were to blast myself with cold water, not once, but TWICE, I might start the day clean, but I would NOT be happy OR refreshed. Giving up a warm, relaxing shower by dousing myself with frigid water would likely put me in a foul mood for hours. Quite frankly, I'd rather be sleepy than miserable!

The article states that scientific evidence points out, "Cold water immersion has been linked to increased tolerance to stress, a stronger immune system, increased fat burning, and anti-depressant effects."

Hold it right there, fella's ... I don't think you can claim the above statement is a one-size-fits-all fact! Cold water makes me more stressed and I find the very idea depressing. And for what it's worth, I'm okay with my immune system being a little weaker and burning less fat if it means that I don't have to start my day crying in the shower!

I go to great lengths to never be cold. I wear jackets and sweaters inside all summer long. In the winter, I bundle up like I'm getting ready to face absolute zero ... and I have a long, long winter. My winter starts in October, when the temperatures dip into the 60's, and runs until late March or early April, when the temperatures finally reach a tolerable 70º. I keep the thermostat as high as I dare in the winter, but it's still cold in this drafty, old house. I wear layer upon layer of clothing (think Ralphie's kid brother getting dressed for school in A Christmas Story). I have a fireplace in my bedroom I turn on long before my alarm goes off so that I don't freeze when I get out of bed.

Although my house has central air, the upstairs is on the same unit as the downstairs. It's tolerable downstairs, but it can get uncomfortably hot upstairs during prolonged heat spells, especially my room, since I always keep the door shut to keep the cat (and her fur and hairballs) out. I have a window air conditioning unit in my bedroom, but I only use it a little in the evenings (I'm too cheap to run it for long or overnight). Besides, I don't want to be cold. Ever, EVER, EVER.  I'd rather be hot than cold. I have gone to work on someone's computer before, and they'll say "Tell me if you get too hot and I'll turn the heat down". I tell them what I have always told the kids ... I'm not too hot unless I'm actually in flames.

One time ... once ... when the heat index was well over 100º, I took a cold shower after I cut the grass and worked in the yard for several hours. That single occasion is the sole exception to my 'no cold' rule.

Turns out, if loving a shower so hot I run the risk of emerging with second degree burns is wrong ... I don't wanna be right!

(Kids, if that last line doesn't make you smile ... or groan ... ask your parents about it!)

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